Wedded Bliss - With No Ring to Prove It

I'm pretty sure that when you get married, you automatically get a semi-permanent tattoo on your forehead that says "now able to bear children in a socially acceptable fashion" - maybe that is just in the South?

Around here if you are pregnant or have a small child you can feel strangers' line of vision go from your face, to your belly/kid, to your left ring finger and then back to your face. If there is a ring, you get a smile and many some kind of sweet compliment. If you present the stranger with a naked ring finger you may get a grimace, a look of confusion, or even a nasty comment.

I find this to be so strange, considering that over half of children are born out of wedlock these days. I also wonder how many married parents choose not to wear a ring signifying their legal/spiritual commitment to another person.

Guess what - I am (happily) married, have three children, and I don't wear a wedding ring! Shocking, I know!

About 6 months into my first pregnancy my fingers were so swollen that I wore my precious wedding band and engagement ring on a chain around my neck. People give you sympathy smiles when you do that.

Does this woman look like she cares about wearing a ring??

But then I had my baby and my fingers (along with other parts of my body) never really bounced back to same size. So I left my rings in my jewelry box - hoping that maybe at least my ring finger would  regain its girlish figure given time. Then I had another baby and another baby and basically gave up on ever wearing my rings again (at the current size).

Look carefully and you will see my tiny fingers grasping my bouquet. 

"Why don't you just re-size them", you ask- because I have hope that one day my finger will be just like it was when I was 21 years old getting married on a beach. Now, I've studied SMART goals and know that this goal of skinny fingers is specific and measurable.However, the attainable and realistic part...maybe not.

So when I meet parents -all the time, heck DSS basically only serves people who are currently "parents" - I don't do the face, kid, hand, face thing. You know, because it is rude and presumptive.

I am in a very loving, supportive, happy marriage. My children have an absolutely wonderful father and we work really well together as a co-parenting team. I'm proud of all of those things, but I don't feel the need to wear a ring to prove that to every person on the street. Honestly, I kind of like challenging people perceptions of "normal". Maybe one day I'll discuss why my last name doesn't match the rest of my family or why I'm a vegetarian who cooks pork chops.