Why I Didn't Cry on My Daughter's First Day of Kindergarten

So, my oldest daughter started Kindergarten this morning. When I got to work, my co-workers were looking for signs of dried tears and even offered up hugs.

Is there something wrong with me? Are my tear ducts clogged? How was I able to leave my precious daughter with a group of strangers without breaking down into a sobbing mess in the parking lot? I mean look at this girl....

Let's back it up a little....

Last night after a long Sunday of familial obligations, we got our little boys to sleep and concentrated all of our energies on our budding student. We wrote her name on all of the newly bought school supplies, popped some tags from her navy and khaki uniforms, and packed it all up in her shiny pink Barbie book bag.

She went to bed, happy as a lark. I remained on the couch for hours past my usual bedtime, so excited to be part of this adventure that is parenting.

So, now we begin the five reasons I didn't cry on my daughter's first day of kindergarten:

1) My excitement is her excitement. - Everybody remembers the concept of "modeling" from psychology class, right? Children are like tiny little Sherlock Holmes, they pick up on the tiniest of details, that we ourselves may not even notice. They know when we are nervous, they know when we doubt their abilities and it makes a big impact on their behavior and mood. Simply, they act like we act.

So, for the past month we have been hyping up school and saying how excited we were for her to be starting. The result - she jumped out of bed this morning telling me first thing "I am so excited about starting school today! Can I go ahead and put my book bag by the door so we won't be late!"

I wish I had my year book handy - because I know the perfect picture for my #2 reason. I was voted  "most studious" in high school, thus I was and will forever be a nerd. 

2) The Nerd factor. I loved school. My husband loved school. We are "those" people. Go ahead, roll your eyes now. Why would I be upset about her doing something I know she is going to love? If you love swimming, would you expect to cry the first time you take your baby to swim class? Maybe a few happy, nostalgic tears, but not those heaving sobs I'm pretty sure I saw a few moms doing this morning (in the privacy of their mini-vans).

I can't wait for her to figure out that she loves science, is good a math, and is a little bored in social studies class (Shh, don't let her history buff daughter hear me saying that!) I can't wait for her to get awards and be proud of her accomplishments or find her weaknesses and find solutions for rising above them.  Honestly, I just can't wait to see how she grows and develops through her academic pursuits. 

Now, the hardest part above this morning I must admit, was the fact that for 7 hours I have no idea what she is doing. But, that is the irrational part of my brain taking advantage of me and typing for me.... I do know what she is doing. She is learning, playing, and making new friends. She is (nearly) five, it's time for me to show her that I trust her and I have confidence in her abilities, so off to school she went. For me being a working mom helped a lot with this....

3) Being a Working Mommy/Preschool. After taking a few moments to do some math and revisit my work history - I have concluded that out of my daughter's 60 months of life I have been a full-time working mom for 29 of those months. So, I know the best of both worlds. Working is great because when you come home your kids are excited to see you and you are excited to see your kids. Staying at home with your kids is great because you are there to see every smile, to kiss every boo boo and capture photographic evidence of every milestone.

I think that knowing that my kids are happy when I'm there and they are happy when I'm not there definitely helps with transitions such as starting Kindergarten. For moms who do not plan on working while their children are young - preschool is such a big help. Kids learn to trust other people, play with other kids, and they learn that you are indeed going to come back for them at the end of the day - even if they did pour the entire bottle of water into the car seat cup holder while you were getting their book bag ready...

These crazy, hectic moments of parenting young children won't last forever. Some parents will cheer when they read that and others will sigh deeply and frown. Some parents will feel a little bit of both. I know that I do look forward to the time when I shower without being interrupted, but I will sorely miss getting sweet, sticky kisses. 

4) Time is fleeting. I think a lot of parents get the emotional wind sucked out of their sails by this one and end up a hot mess.Was it not just yesterday that these kids of ours where tiny little neonates?  I hear the following phrases a lot from my friends with children: "I wish we could go back to when he was a baby" "time moves too fast", "I'm not ready for him to do this/that".

Time moves quickly, especially when you are juggling three kids, graduate classes, and a full-time job. I totally get it, but honestly, I think it is super selfish to wish that time would stand still. I think that desire has less to do with the child and more to do with the parent's fear of growing older.

Instead of letting fear run our lives, let's take life by the horns and enjoy the ride. Watching a child grow up is a pleasure that many people are not afforded. Imagine that you and a friend are pregnant at the same time, but your pregnancy results in a loss. Flash forward five years, imagine the emotions you would feel rushing through your mind and body when you see a picture of your friend's child going to his or her first day of school? You would be sad, you would be jealous, you would have so many "what ifs". There are so many people in this position and I am sure they would rather have fast moving memories than none at all.

Time is fleeting, but you have to remember that you are in this moment and you can make the best of it if you so choose. Obviously I am a fan of taking copious amount of pictures, so I heavily rely on that as a coping mechanism and way of preserving the oh so special moments. 

Well, that got heavy. Let's end this on a happier note. When your child starts school, they need stuff. When you need stuff, you get to go shopping!

5) Shopping - I know that it is a stereotype that all women love to shop. I, however, happen to fit into that mold just perfectly. When my daughter got her school supply list, I was a woman on a mission. When we couldn't find the aforementioned Barbie book bag at our local Target, it was time for a road trip. When my daughter finally found the book bag, oddly stashed away in the travel section, not the back-to-school section, we all cheered in excitement! 

Parents don't get a manual when they leave the hospital with a newborn, but we do have one concept ingrained into our minds - MUST PROVIDE FOR CHILD. Shopping for school supplies, book bags, and new clothes is a great way to meet your needs and theirs! Knowing that my daughter was fully prepared for her new venture into education, I was confident in dropping her off this morning. Plus, she was confident too!

Good luck to all the Mamas (and the Papas) out there who are getting ready to make a big change. Remember we are old and set in our ways, kids are young and life still excites them. School is going to be an awesome "new" normal!